XY

The XY chromosome, that is.  You probably didn't hear it here first, but we are expecting a baby boy to round out our family in August!  We are over the moon.  It is all we can do to contain our enthusiasm.  Really.  In just a few more months, Harper will have a baby brother to beat up and terrorize love unconditionally.

I think Harper will make a terrific big sister.  She's already practicing.  She likes to kiss my belly to say "hi" to her brother, and then she pulls my shirt back down when she is tired of talking to him.  Too bad that shirt trick won't work once he exits the womb!

Jeff and I are in the process of finalizing our name selections.  If you can recall, Harper was going to be "Campbell" for quite some time until we abruptly switched to HP.  It's a good thing, too, because one of Harp's good friends is "Cambell."  Since their house is just a stone's throw away, that could have gotten confusing down the road!  So, hold on to your monogramming horses, and we'll let you in on the little man's name as soon as we are sure that we've got it right.

On an unrelated note, Harper had her 18-month check-up this morning.  She has obviously been eating her Wheaties (or her Fruit Loops, perhaps?), because she is still sprouting.  95% on height, really?  She must have her grandparents and great-grandparents to thank, because that certainly doesn't come from her parents.    Her doctor joked that Harper could be our star basketball player - the next Brittney Griner, perhaps?  (Minus the punching, I would hope!)

That's all for now, folks!  I hope to have house news to share this week.  There is actually a chance we could be moving next weekend!  Just the thought of that makes me feel the need to nap...and so I shall.

How sweet it is.

As Harper and I got dressed this morning, we were serenaded by James Taylor.  Well, via iTunes, but still!  The two of us were born to sing and dance.  It might not be pretty, but we just can't help ourselves!  It makes my heart smile to watch HP bust a move at any given moment - with music or without.  She sings, too, with a splash of soul added.  Seriously, whenever she sings, her face looks like she is belting out the blues.  Such emotion!  James, buddy, I agree with you.  It is so sweet to be loved by Harper Elle Peel.  Like jelly, baby.  (The kind without high fructose corn syrup, of course.)

So, as you might have guessed, mediation worked.  Harper and I are back on good terms.  I haven't blogged in a couple weeks (thanks for pointing that out, Sgt. Alyssa!), and it was partly because I didn't want to jinx our string of wonderful days.  The sun returned, sleep returned, naps made a comeback... Life will never be perfect, but at least we can say that we're all putting forth our best effort!  And when you're dealing with two stubborn 29-year olds and a stubborn 18-month old, that oughta count for something.

Reconciliation

Today was a better day. Not easy, but better. Not even the great days are easy, ain't that the truth?

Harper slept well last night. She appears to be feeling well - no Motrin or Benadryl required. She napped. Well, it was a 45-minute nap, but at this point I'll take what I can get.

We even laughed together today at Wrigley's expense.

No tantrums.

Progress!

Hardest job EVER.

Yeah, I'm going to vent about how hard this motherhood gig can really be. We all know how rewarding it can be, how special it is, and how blessed we are to be moms, so I'm not going to waste much time on that side of the coin. Right now I simply want to vent about the challenges and the difficulties. Though I'll never truly know what it's like to be a dad (duh - because I'm not one), I assume they have their own set of rewards and issues to juggle. I'm not going to go there either.

This is about me - a mom - and my struggles.

As a blogger, I find myself more inclined to share the good news and accomplishments while glossing over or straight up ignoring most unpleasantries. That is one reason why you might not see more frequent postings from me. Or I'm exhausted, which isn't necessarily a good or bad thing. Or I might just be too busy. Or I might not have anything nice to say, in which case we've been taught to not say anything at all. Well, it's not going to be that way today. This blog is my forum, my soapbox, my bullhorn, my post-it note - it's a vehicle for sharing my thoughts, however random, insightful or boring they may be.

Sigh.

This week has been particularly hard. Harper has been feverish, on and off, for days. We made a last minute trip to the doctor on Monday afternoon, but nothing came out of it. We were told to proceed with Motrin and Benadryl, and to keep an eye on the fever. Strep and flu tests were performed just in case, but they both turned up negative. Meanwhile, we've spent all week with a cranky, grouchy and tantrum-y toddler. I have been amazed by some of the fits she has thrown. When she is in tantrum mode, she is not to be swayed. They make me feel angry, sad, helpless and deficient. I can only imagine how they make her feel inside.

It is during those moments that I question my ability as a mom. It makes me wonder if I have any idea what I'm doing. I'm vaguely aware that none of us really knows what we're doing - we're all just making a go of it and trying to give it our best effort. It is exceptionally hard to swallow when you feel like you really must not even have a clue.

We haven't sleep well at all this week either. Tuesday morning we were awoken at 4:30AM by our little blue-eyed monster. She can usually be put right back to bed with the replacement of her pacifier. That would not be the case on that particular morning. That was our wake-up call for the day. To make matters worse, she didn't go down for her nap until 2:45 that afternoon during which she slept for less than an hour. I may or may not have referred to her as "Damian." Remember that kid from the movies with the "666" marking? Yeah, that about summed up my feelings yesterday. Oh, and from approximately 12:15 - 4:30 PM today, with the exception of yet another 45-minute nap.

Gee, thanks for the break!

I hope that incoming teeth are to blame for the recent interruptions in our lives. I keep peering into her mouth to inspect for evidence of new pearly whites. Nothing so far. I've heard the canines, or eye-teeth, can be the absolute worst, and those are the exact four that we are waiting on.

Sigh.

It hasn't all been terrible this week. After she's taken her meds, it's relatively smooth sailing. Well, comparatively. Our troubles occur when the drugs start to wear off before enough time has passed to administer the next dose. Speaking of which, that time is nearing.

This should be a happy week. We made an offer on a house yesterday, and we signed the contract today. If all goes well with the buyer of our house, then we could be in our dream house by the end of April. I'm excited, but I can't really show it because my head feels like it is going to explode. I need sleep. Desperately. I need my Harper-free time, but alas, there is no MDO this week. I'm not completely sure of what else I need - I can just tell you that I feel like a zombie.

I should be grateful I have the words and the ability to express how I feel. On the contrary, my poor, sweet Harper has little choice but to resort to throwing a fit. And believe me, it is not pretty when mother or daughter pitches a fit. Even scarier when they are synchronized. Take my word on it!

My rant is over. I feel a little bit better now, and I hope Harps does, too. As soon as I turn off the ceiling fan and unglue her toes, I'll ask her.